What to Call the Woman I live With?

I used to call her my Wife, but that's so retro. In fact the word "retro" is now retro, but never mind. I'm told I should refer to her as my "Partner," but that makes me think of the Lone Ranger (tight pants) and Tonto (fringe on shirt, pants, and socks). Too much dressing up for my tastes. How about Fiance? Seems like every NFL and NBA player has a fiance. Just how long are you supposed to hang on to a fiance before she gets promoted to another level? How about Significant Other? Yuk. Guess I'll stick with "darln'." Merry Christmas, Darln'. Wait a minute. Christmas is no longer trendy. Happy Holidays, Darln.